LET THE THINGS I DID BE PAST

A wave of exhaustion rushed over Emily as she fluttered her eyes open. She was surprised that she could actually fall asleep after all the sleepless nights she had and grateful to Mother Nature for coming to her aid at last.

The sudden pain on her legs made her to realize how long she had been in that position before falling asleep. She dragged her aching body out of the bed into a more comfortable sitting position. She slowly lifted her body from the crumpled bed, staggering while trying to get hold of herself. Rays of sunlight emits from the crack of the closed window into the room. Making the room dim. Piles of dirty plates with untouched food were kept at one corner of the reading table, the floor of the room was littered with used tissue papers.  A sneeze escaped from her nose, which made her notice how stiff the air in the room was. The honking of vehicles and the chatter from the arguing grownups and playful screams from children, made her realise how long she had ex-communicated herself from the world.

It has been three days now since she let herself out of her apartment. She dragged herself toward the dressing mirror at the corner of the room. A glimpse of herself at the mirror left her dumb struck. She couldn’t believe the mess she had turned into. Dry lines of tears formed a scary white line on her face, her eyes were swollen and blood shot, her short dark brown hair was pulled up in a messy bun. The perspiration on her face clung the tendrils of hair on her cheeks and forehead. She stepped backwards to see the full length of herself, and slowly lifted her blue cotton tank top. Her hand lingered on her abdomen as she broke up again in tears. Emily wondered how her lachrymal gland could still produce more tears.

                 She had been young and beautiful. Having hopes and aspirations .With the promise of making her family proud both in character and in learning. Yes, she had succeeded in fulfilling one part of that promise. What has happened to the other promise she has made?

 She thought as she dug her hands into her already messy hair, pulling on it with all bitterness. She squeezed her stomach tight, while kicking an empty can of coca cola away as she strode to sit down on the bed. All her struggles to keep her sensuality has been futile, a mess she doesn't know how to clean up.The painful thing is that, he had laid her on and raised her hopes making her believe he has plans for her and all her dreams and hopes had just came crashing on her. She had been seventeen years, still in her first year in college a girl just on the brink of womanhood, when she had agreed to date Chris, pushing aside the warnings of her mother about men. His devotion to his academic and also his good looks has drawn him to her making it easier for her to fall helplessly in love with him. She had gone on loving him and hoping, praying for them to remain as they were. She could still remember how it all happened, how her dreams had ruthlessly crashed. She had appeared in Chris’ apartment that evening, looking all sexy and soft and feminine with her polka dot dress that barely covered her thighs, with a low neck line that showed off the ridge of the two moulds on her chest. She had gone to celebrate their success in the last semester’s exams. Chris had gestured her to his bedroom and they sat down on the bed each with a glass of fruit wine. He had scooted closer to her after their drink and his hands where now on her laps, placing the two empty glasses noisily on the nightstand he whispered huskily to her ‘’ you’re beautiful and I will always be there for you’’. He had the most amazing smile. The smoothing words sent shivers down Emily’s spine.

                Truly, he had been her knight in shining amour guiding her through her academic life, giving her old text books plus his words of encouragement. She could now feel his erection, already hard and hot against her, searing through the thin material she wore. Her body was already responding, warm and achy to receive him. His hands stalked towards her belly with his eyes so mixed with pleasure and need. Emily’s breath was rasped, dazed by the arousal of his touch. 

He was going to smoothen her clothes and remove his hands, he was going to remember the promise they kept. Chris did remove his hands from her thigh but she had no idea what his next actions would be. Her feelings where those fear and anxiousness. She tried to swallow but he suddenly plugged his mouth in hers.

Tired with all her constant self denial she found his mouth with hers and kissed him. They came crashing on the bed. She wriggled beneath him. He shifted, tugged her dress up and pulled it off over her head and tossed it on the floor. She slide her hands under his shirt, her fingers spread across his solid deltoids to his warm chest. His nipples pressed hard against her palms like hard buttons. He braced himself up, his knees spreads on either side of her as he pulled her white cotton briefs off. She found the snap on his jeans, set him free and stroked him with a kind of shameless desire. His tongue fell on her bare chest, suckled on them one after the other.

Emily gave a low cry of sheer exultation; she parted her legs slightly and felt him settle between them. And then like the thrust of some magical sword, he was inside her deep inside her. Now the realization of this product of unbridled fervor  sent back fresh tears that burned the backs of her eyes, like pepper , raw and painful, bringing her no real relief, but then what relief could there be from this thoughts, the emotions that tormented her? She acknowledged miserably.

It was equally impossible for her to understand why she had let this happened, why she had responded to Chris, wanted him to such an extent that she had knowingly, wantonly and, yes deliberately encouraged him. And now, she alone is left with the burden. They had always stood shoulder-to-shoulder to face any challenge in their way down. When has that changed? It must have happened after he knew about her condition.  Chris rejection and distant from her compounded to the whole issue. Ever since the time she told him about the situation of things, he had held her at distance, becoming so remote from her that now it was virtually very impossible for Emily to imagine that they had ever been lovers. She has to take an action before her condition would be noticed. Would she go back home? No the news will devastate her mother and would also bring their family name to mud.

 In her culture although it is twenty-first century, a child born out of wed lock is still frowned upon. It is considered a sacrilege.

 Emily knows at the back of her mind that Chris’ rejection was due to his pursuit of perfection. Chris never wants anything out of order. He dress impeccable, not a hair out of place. He holds down a perfect academic excellent that cannot be exceeded. Everything around him breathes flawlessness. So, he can’t allow an unplanned baby to bring down his perfectly laid out future. Perfection is his legacy, so nothing that matters ever happen. Yet he forgets that perfection is an illusion that is unattainable. The pursuit of perfection in life is altogether a different story. Even a machine may operate perfectly for awhile. Yet, over time it begins to wear down and require a replacement.

Emily stood up from the bed and began pacing the room, hitting her belly as she thinks of her next line of action. She can’t afford to handle the humiliation and the fact that the baby is being rejected by his father. How will she bring herself to tell the unborn child that he was a taboo? No, she can’t let her baby suffer the humiliation. She strode to the window and peered through the cracked window towards the road. As if the road had even her courage. No, she has to take the bold step today and all her agony would be over.

POWER CORRUPTS

AUTHOR’S NOTE

I know no one thinks or speaks unblemished English; therefore some grammatical anomalies have been retained in order to support the illusion of reality.

Certain things, makes me feel insecure about our country. There are things I can’t contain about the order of power in our society. Things that makes me awed when I’m around people I should feel more secured with.

People whose duties are to keep the nation safe from criminal elements. Could their actions be linked to the believe of power being intoxicating? This might sound cliché but these are things I have come to observe about power. Power when handled inappropriately intoxicates and makes the atrocious in nature more violent. Not only them but also people who enjoy power also allow themselves to get addicted to it and this changes their personality. With such people in charge of the nation’s security, it is not enough for one to be silenced to their misdemeanor but they demand one to also surrender to their terms. They fail to understand that not all people can be subjugated. The world would be a better place when these bad people in power are sieved from the good ones.

A law enforcement officer will deliberately assault a citizen and deludes the person to believe that the officer was assaulted by the citizen’s actions. Meanwhile, the officer goes scout free while the individual is being detained with the charges of assaulting an officer of the law.

Another thing that amazes me is the fact that they say ‘’the police is your friend’’. This is quite ironic because how can a citizen go to the station to lay a complaint about threat to life and our ‘’protectors’’ will rather request for money in the pretends of opening a file for the case and nothing will be done thereafter. This is really absurd.

Imagine an armed robbery attack in a neighborhood where the lives of people are in jeopardy, a good neighbor manages to alert the law enforcers about the ongoing robbery operation and the impeding danger. Their response would signify urgency in dealing with the situation but they will remain where they are until the robbery operation is over.                    

                It was towards evening around 5pm three law enforcers, sat under a tree for shade due to the scorching sun earlier in the afternoon. Taking their break from the afternoon’s work. The officer in the van that was packed along the road, being exhausted by the idleness stood up immediately as if he had been stung by an ant.

’Sergeant’! The officer called and one of the enforcer’s under the tree answered briskly ‘’Yes Sir! As he walked towards the officer.

‘Check how much we don collect today’, the officer told the sergeant. The sergeant went to the pigeon hole attached to the front dash board of the van and brought out an old dusty bag which served as their vault. He emptied the bag on the front seat and starts strengthening the squeezed money which they had collected from bus drivers during the day. He brought his hand to his mouth and wet his finger tips with his spittle to enable him count the money well.

‘’Oga na two thousand naira we get.’’ He said as he handed the money to the officer. The officer looked at him sternly, the stern look from the gruff officer made the sergeant to fidget.

‘’You dey sure na two thousand naira so?’’ the officer asked .

‘’Na only two thousand Oga, we used two hundred and fifty naira buy bread wey we chop for afternoon.’’ The sergeant replied as he removed his barrette to wipe the accumulated sweat from it.

‘’Hmm na em be say, work no dey at all today.’’

‘’Oya sergeant!’’  the sergeants matched and saluted the officer.

‘’Its time to fall back on the road, see as you sit there dey watch motor dey pass like that, oya mount on the road and make sure you use any means possible to collect money from the people.’’

As you don see, na only two thousand naira wey remain, so if you no do your job well, you no go fit go back with your chop money today. In fact any person wey prove stubborn and no wan comply make you signal me with a snap of the finger.

‘’You hear me so?’’ the officer asked them.

The enforcers nodded and began their road block again. Shortly, they saw a commercial bus approaching. One of the enforcers signaled the other to stop the approaching bus.

When the commercial driver saw the road block he slowed down. The enforcers signaled him to clear from the road as the others hurried to stop other approaching vehicles.

The commercial driver brought his face out through the open window and with his two hands placed on the steering wheel, he hailed the enforcer as he approached him.

‘’Oga me,’’ evening o!

‘’Oya chief wetin you get for boot,’’ the enforcer enquired from the driver as he circled the vehicle.

‘’Oya come down make we see wetin dey your boot.’’

Aha! Oga only one passenger I carry, nothing dey for boot.

The enforcer insisted that the man should open his boot.

The driver did as he was instructed. Thereafter, the enforcer demanded for his vehicle particulars, which the driver brought out from where it was tied behind the front rear view mirror and handed it to the enforcer.

After scrutinizing the papers and confirming that it was valid. He handed it back to the driver. The driver got the papers from him and entered his bus thinking he was free to leave, he slammed the door shut and was about to turn the ignition key when he heard the enforcer clear his throat, he turned to face the sneering enforcer. Whose hand was already resting on the roof of the vehicle. Clearing his throat, the enforcer dipped his hand in his pocket and unknowingly pulling it up which made the band of his trouser to reach his upper belly. Making his trouser ankle length, thus giving him an awkward look.

‘’Just find small money for your boss,’’ the enforcer told the driver, after he couldn’t find anything to use to penalize him.

‘’Oga nothing dey today o, today just dey dry,’’ the driver replied as he wiped the sweat in his forehead with his handkerchief. Wetin you mean, money no dey?’’ the enforcer asked after all the money wey you don collect finish since morning and you dey here dey tell me money no dey.

‘’Oga abeg money no dey,’’ the driver replied. I just dey commot for hospital wey my wife born new pinkin and the pinkin no dey well. The money wey I make today plus the one wey I get before don finish for hospital. The bill still remain for me to complete. Na em make I just carry this passenger for road to get small money join the one I wan go borrow from my friend.

The explanations of the driver fail on deaf ears as the enforcer remembered the warnings of his officer ‘’ No work no chop money’’.

‘’Just commot the money give me,make you dey go. This one you dey talk no concern me at all.

The driver didn’t know what to do again but plead.

The enforcer became infuriated by his pleas and flared up,’’ why you dey look me like that, I carry mask for face?’’

‘’If you no commot that money give me, you no go commot here today,’’ the enforcer said as he carried his gun on his shoulder and stood in front of the driver.

‘’hmm, which kind wahala be this God? which kind wickedness be this, if I get money I for don give this man teh teh. My worry dey for my new born pinkin for hospital. Na because this man wear uniform, he think say he go fit do any how em like.

After a while, the driver got pissed at the sneering enforcer and challenged the enforcer. ‘’ I dey tell you say my wife and new born pikin dey sick for hospital and you dey here dey force me, make I give you money. From where you wan make I get the money from? You give me any money to hold for you?’’ the driver spat at the enforcer.

‘’ Why you dey blow hot for me? If you no mind wey tin dey commot for your mouth, I go just charge you for assault,’’ the enforcer spat back with his gun pointing directly at the driver. Suddenly the bullet was released, the force of the bullet propelled the driver up and down his seat and he died instantly.

                In the back of my mind it frightened me that someone as prejudiced as this was allowed to wonder the streets with a loaded gun in his hands.