A wave of exhaustion rushed over Emily as she fluttered her
eyes open. She was surprised that she could actually fall asleep after all the
sleepless nights she had and grateful to Mother Nature for coming to her aid at
last.
The sudden pain on her legs made her to realize how long she
had been in that position before falling asleep. She dragged her aching body
out of the bed into a more comfortable sitting position. She slowly lifted her
body from the crumpled bed, staggering while trying to get hold of herself. Rays
of sunlight emits from the crack of the closed window into the room. Making the
room dim. Piles of dirty plates with untouched food were kept at one corner of
the reading table, the floor of the room was littered with used tissue papers. A sneeze escaped from her nose, which made her
notice how stiff the air in the room was. The honking of vehicles and the
chatter from the arguing grownups and playful screams from children, made her
realise how long she had ex-communicated herself from the world.
It has been three days now since she let herself out of her
apartment. She dragged herself toward the dressing mirror at the corner of the
room. A glimpse of herself at the mirror left her dumb struck. She couldn’t
believe the mess she had turned into. Dry lines of tears formed a scary white
line on her face, her eyes were swollen and blood shot, her short dark brown
hair was pulled up in a messy bun. The perspiration on her face clung the
tendrils of hair on her cheeks and forehead. She stepped backwards to see the
full length of herself, and slowly lifted her blue cotton tank top. Her hand
lingered on her abdomen as she broke up again in tears. Emily wondered how her lachrymal
gland could still produce more tears.
She had been young and beautiful. Having hopes
and aspirations .With the promise of making her family proud both in character
and in learning. Yes, she had succeeded in fulfilling one part of that promise.
What has happened to the other promise she has made?
She thought as she dug her
hands into her already messy hair, pulling on it with all bitterness. She
squeezed her stomach tight, while kicking an empty can of coca cola away as she
strode to sit down on the bed. All her struggles to keep her sensuality has
been futile, a mess she doesn't know how to clean up.The painful thing is that,
he had laid her on and raised her hopes making her believe he has plans for her
and all her dreams and hopes had just came crashing on her. She had been
seventeen years, still in her first year in college a girl just on the brink of
womanhood, when she had agreed to date Chris, pushing aside the warnings of her
mother about men. His devotion to his academic and also his good looks has
drawn him to her making it easier for her to fall helplessly in love with him. She
had gone on loving him and hoping, praying for them to remain as they were. She
could still remember how it all happened, how her dreams had ruthlessly
crashed. She had appeared in Chris’ apartment that evening, looking all sexy
and soft and feminine with her polka dot dress that barely covered her thighs,
with a low neck line that showed off the ridge of the two moulds on her chest.
She had gone to celebrate their success in the last semester’s exams. Chris had
gestured her to his bedroom and they sat down on the bed each with a glass of
fruit wine. He had scooted closer to her after their drink and his hands where
now on her laps, placing the two empty glasses noisily on the nightstand he
whispered huskily to her ‘’ you’re beautiful and I will always be there for
you’’. He had the most amazing smile. The smoothing words sent shivers down
Emily’s spine.
Truly, he had been her knight in
shining amour guiding her through her academic life, giving her old text books
plus his words of encouragement. She could now feel his erection, already hard
and hot against her, searing through the thin material she wore. Her body was
already responding, warm and achy to receive him. His hands stalked towards her
belly with his eyes so mixed with pleasure and need. Emily’s breath was rasped,
dazed by the arousal of his touch.
He was going to smoothen her clothes and
remove his hands, he was going to remember the promise they kept. Chris did remove
his hands from her thigh but she had no idea what his next actions would be.
Her feelings where those fear and anxiousness. She tried to swallow but he
suddenly plugged his mouth in hers.
Tired with all her constant self denial she found his mouth
with hers and kissed him. They came crashing on the bed. She wriggled beneath
him. He shifted, tugged her dress up and pulled it off over her head and tossed
it on the floor. She slide her hands under his shirt, her fingers spread across
his solid deltoids to his warm chest. His nipples pressed hard against her
palms like hard buttons. He braced himself up, his knees spreads on either side
of her as he pulled her white cotton briefs off. She found the snap on his
jeans, set him free and stroked him with a kind of shameless desire. His tongue
fell on her bare chest, suckled on them one after the other.
Emily gave a low cry of sheer exultation;
she parted her legs slightly and felt him settle between them. And then like
the thrust of some magical sword, he was inside her deep inside her. Now the realization of this product of unbridled fervor sent back fresh tears that
burned the backs of her eyes, like pepper , raw and painful, bringing her no
real relief, but then what relief could there be from this thoughts, the
emotions that tormented her? She acknowledged miserably.
It was equally impossible for her to understand why she had
let this happened, why she had responded to Chris, wanted him to such an extent
that she had knowingly, wantonly and, yes deliberately encouraged him. And now,
she alone is left with the burden. They had always stood shoulder-to-shoulder
to face any challenge in their way down. When has that changed? It must have
happened after he knew about her condition. Chris rejection and distant from her
compounded to the whole issue. Ever since the time she told him about the
situation of things, he had held her at distance, becoming so remote from her
that now it was virtually very impossible for Emily to imagine that they had
ever been lovers. She has to take an action before her condition would be
noticed. Would she go back home? No the news will devastate her mother and
would also bring their family name to mud.
In her culture
although it is twenty-first century, a child born out of wed lock is still
frowned upon. It is considered a sacrilege.
Emily knows at the
back of her mind that Chris’ rejection was due to his pursuit of perfection.
Chris never wants anything out of order. He dress impeccable, not a hair out of
place. He holds down a perfect academic excellent that cannot be exceeded.
Everything around him breathes flawlessness. So, he can’t allow an unplanned baby
to bring down his perfectly laid out future. Perfection is his legacy, so
nothing that matters ever happen. Yet he forgets that perfection is an illusion
that is unattainable. The pursuit of perfection in life is altogether a
different story. Even a machine may operate perfectly for awhile. Yet, over
time it begins to wear down and require a replacement.
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